I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
