yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
