I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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