Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Sponge bath it is.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
