I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize