He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
