America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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