bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
