When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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