well you can't waste a boner
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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