Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
