And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
