drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
