piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
