no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
