you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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