it was like fucking gandolphs beard
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
