i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
