Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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