Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
