If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
