Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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