'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
