That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
