So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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