I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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