okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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