is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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