I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
