Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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