Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
