seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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