You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think I am morally bankrupt
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
