When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.