Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.

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(705): View more from Ontario

You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".

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(803): View more from South Carolina

When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.

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(+61): View more from Australia

It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?

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(972): View more from Texas

I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.

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(541): View more from Oregon

just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..

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(727): View more from Florida

Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014

(813): View more from Florida

You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch

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(708): View more from Illinois

i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.

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