Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
