I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
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Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.