Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.