Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
