I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
