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Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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