I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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