we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
