I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
where does the pee come out of this thing
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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