So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
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She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
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Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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