singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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