i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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