I wannas sexs uuuuu
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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