I heard we made out
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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