I didn't shave. On purpose
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
