Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I look better un-naked...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Randomize
