I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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