her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
