Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We are two peas in an std pod
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Pooping to opera.
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