dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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