Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We named our party play list daddy issues
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
