I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
