She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize