Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
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She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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