R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
