I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize