I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
