Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
