ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
