So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
