69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
