In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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