i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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