That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
