he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
