Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
