this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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