Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
