Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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